A Strength of Will
by NiteMareB4XMAS
Summary: When everyone begins to alienate Rin after they find out who he really is, our hero goes into a dangerous spiral of depression. With everyone either hating him or being afraid, his will to live begins to slip and it doesn't help that he's starting to have weird feelings for Shima. Can his new friend help him before it's too late? Or will she succumb to her own demons? WARNING: YAOI
1. Prologue

_**I have been so busy the past few weeks that it's not even funny. I have started my summer college classes (even though I'm still in high school damn it! DX), got second degree sunburn from celebrating the 4**__**th**__** of July, celebrated my boyfriend's birthday, saw **__**Magic Mike **__**with my best friend and her mom, and then went to my boyfriend's grandparents' wedding renewal with him and his family! And on top of all that I am still suffering from insomnia and haven't been able to think of a proper story until now. So I apologize from the deepest pit of my heart if this story sucks.**_

_**WARNING: This story is based off the anime **__**Blue Exorcist**__**; I do not own any of the characters, they belong to Kazue Kato. I only own the characters that I have made up. There will also be M-Rated scenes and gore in this story. **_

_**~NiteMareB4XMAS**_

_Shit I am so going to be late! _I thought as I ran down the streets of True Cross Academy Town. Once again my damn alarm clock didn't go off and I woke up in time to see I only had little less than a half hour to get ready for school. So of course I was sprinting as fast as I could so my teachers at the high school wouldn't kill me; it was already bad enough that the teachers at the Cram school hate me enough as it is! Unfortunately when I made a sharp turn around the corner I only saw a glimpse of the back of a blonde haired girl and before I could stop myself, I crashed right into her making us both fly into the ground. Before I hit the pavement though I heard a bunch of loud thuds and when I looked to see what caused it, I realized it was cardboard boxes that held the girl's belongings! "Oh my God, I am so sorry!" I cried out in horror when the girl lifted herself off the ground only for me to see scrapes and skid marks across her left cheek; her sunglasses sliding down her nose crookedly to reveal a slightly irritated hazel eye. The look in her eye though turned into amusement when I hastily picked up some of her stuff and put them back into the boxes while apologizing over and over again for practically running her over. "Kid, it's okay." She chuckled as she fixed her sunglasses so that both her eyes were hidden again. She then began piling the boxes on top of one another after all of her stuff was back in them. "Wait; let me at least help you carry these! I still feel so bad." I suggested as one thin, blonde eyebrow arched; her lips twitching into a small smirk. "Okay then; just help me carry these last few up the stairs to my apartment." She said as I grabbed two of the four she currently had in her arms. With a nod of her head, she told me to follow her into the building next to us. That's when I noticed her voice sounded a bit weird when she spoke to me. It didn't occur to me that Japanese wasn't her native language until she nearly tripped on one of the steps and swore in what sounded like English. The only words I somewhat understood her say was what I believed was "son", "bitch", and "stupid". "You're a foreigner?" I asked with awe as we continued to climb the stairs. "Heh, yeah I am. I'm from the United States. Well here we are." The blonde said as she opened a door to a small apartment that was a bit run down. Here and there pale yellow paint was chipping or peeling off the wall and the rugs were a dusty gray. There was a cramped kitchen on the far left wall and a worn out couch that was once red was now mostly a dull pink and next to it a reclining chair of the same color. And other than a dresser/desk that was by the couch, there were two doors that were open; one that was a cleaning closet that had clothes hanging there and the other led to a tiny bathroom with a single shower, toilet, and sink. Over all, the place was a wreck.

"Man this place is a dump. It doesn't even have a bed!" I said as she laughed hollowly. "Well it might be a dump but it's all I can afford right now. And I think the landlord said the couch turns into a bed. You can just place those boxes by the closet door." She said as she placed the boxes she had by the couch. That's when I noticed another thing about her; the lenses of her sunglasses became clear! _Must be those transition glasses Yukio was thinking about getting. _I thought as I watched her go to the fridge and pull out two cans of Coke Zero before throwing one to me. "So kid, what had you in such a rush?" She asked as I nearly did a spit take of my drink. "Shit! I was trying to run to school but now I have no chance of making it on time! My teachers are _soooo_ going to kill me!" I groaned as I thought of the possible punishments for being late this time. I then thought about what my brother was going to do to me once he found out I was late to high school again. "When do your classes start?" The blonde girl asked as she looked at the clock on the wall. "8:00." I answered miserably. The girl just smirked as she grabbed a pair of car keys. "Well you're in luck kid; I still have another day with my rental car before I return it." She said as my eyes lit up. "You're a fucking life savior!" I cheered as we made our way down the stairs and back onto the street. When she opened the door of a sleek black Honda Civic, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head at how nice it looked. Yet, instead of standing there like an idiot I hopped in the passenger side.

"Thank you so much for this…um"

"Nikita or you can call me Niki."

"Well thanks Niki-Chan!" I said sincerely as the school came into view. "By the way I'm Rin."

"No problem Rin, I know what it's like when you're running late for school. Well here you go." Nikita said as she pulled the car to a stop. "And look, you still have six minutes to get to class."

"Thank you so much for this! Seriously you saved my life." I said while getting out of the car. "You're welcome. See you at Cram school Rin." With that said she drove off. "Yeah see you at Cram school." I murmured as I walked to my first class of the day only to stop in front of the door when her words set in.

_**See you at Cram school Rin.**_

Wait….

WHAT?

_**I forgot to mention that this story will be taking place shortly before Rin, Shima, and Izumo are sent for the squid mission. Once again I apologize if this story isn't as great as my others but I promise to pick it up if it is.**_


	2. Chapter 1

_**All right, if you haven't seen the new summary for this story I'm going to let you know now: Shima won in the poll so this story is now a RinxShima fanfic. I also forgot to mention that even though this is based off the anime, I'm going to change a thing or two here and there for this story to work in my favor, but don't worry they won't be too major of changes. Also Rin's feelings for Shima will slowly make themselves known throughout the story so if seems he has no interest at first it's because he hasn't realized that he's gay (or bi) yet. Just wanted to warn you.**_

_**~NiteMareB4XMAS**_

It's official, my brother is the most boring teacher of mankind; he just stands up there in front of the class writing stuff on the board that makes no sense and is lecturing to us about medical crap that I can't even pronounce half of. I seriously could feel my life being wasted away as I sit here and listen to this shit. _And he wonders why I always fall asleep during his class. _I thought with an annoyed huff as I struggled to keep my eyes open but was slowly failing. I was just about to clock out when the door to the classroom opened to reveal my blonde savior from this morning followed by the clown. "Pardon my interruption Okumura-sensei; I had to borrow your new student here to discus arrangements of her enrollment for the Cram school. You see Anderson-san here is another "special case" so to speak." The demonic principal explained as my brother glanced at her warily. Special Case? Oh boy that only meant one thing: she was a demon too. _Well that does explain why her cheek isn't all cut up anymore. I wonder what kind of demon she is…_ I was brought out of my thoughts though when I heard Bon let out a sound of aggravation. "Oh great, it's another idiot who has no talent then." I heard the monk mutter to his two friends. "I don't know Bon; she's kinda hot in that badass sort of way." Shima pointed out while eying her; and he wasn't really wrong either. Nikita was about the same height as my brother and had a slender body. Her hair was styled that her bangs swept to the right, partially covering her right eye while the rest was thrown up in a short ponytail; her hazel eyes hiding behind thin, black framed, rectangular glasses. The worn out jeans she wore hugged her curvy hips and her red tank top clung onto her torso like a second skin, helping to enunciate her average sized chest. And with the black military-looking jacket she wore and an equally black pair of combat boots, she looked intimidating. "That doesn't mean anything! If she's another "special case" like Okumura, then it probably means she probably has something weird about her that the exorcists find interesting. She probably has no skill in exorcism whatsoever." Bon argued as he glared at her direction. However, Nikita was just leaning against the door but moved towards mine and Shiemi's desk when Mephisto pulled my brother out to the hallway to talk some more. "S'up Rin; I see that your teachers haven't killed you yet." She greeted teasingly as she sat behind Shiemi and I.

"Yeah no kidding! Thanks again Niki-Chan!"

"Wait, you know each other?" Izumo asked with disbelief as she looked at the both of us. "Yeah, he was running late this morning and practically ran me over as I was in the middle of moving into my apartment." Nikita clarified as I smiled sheepishly. It turned into a frown though when Bon muttered "idiot" under his breath. "I felt bad and helped her bring in the last of her stuff before I realized I was never going to make on time for school but thankfully Niki-Chan here drove me!" I added. "So I guess that means you already have your license?" Konekomaru asked as the blonde took out said license to show everyone. "Whoa, you're 18!" Shima gasped once he saw her date of birth. "Yeah so that means you have no chance with me, no matter how "hot in that badass sort of way" I am." She said with a smirk as the pink haired monk's face turned darker than his hair. "Y-You heard that?" He stuttered as she nodded her head. "You can say that my hearing is sharper than most peoples'." As she said this, she threw a pointed glare at Bon who just sneered at her. "S-so Anderson-san, why did you wait so long to join the cram school, if you don't mind me asking?" Shiemi said shyly as hazel eyes turned to the other blonde in the room. "It's a bit of a long story, but it's mostly because I wanted to finish high school first so I can focus more on my studies for exorcism." Nikita explained as she fiddled with a silver ring on her right hand. From my angle I could see the dark red of the stone that sat on top of the ring. I was going to ask her what Meister she wanted to major in when my twin brother came back into the room. "I see that you all are getting to know Anderson-san but it is now time for some shooting at the practice room." He announced as I groaned. Yeah guns are cool and all but I have no fucking aim when it comes to them. Fortunately I wasn't the only one who wasn't looking forward to this; Shima, Shiemi, Izumo, and Konekomaru didn't look like they wanted to shoot guns today either (and the creepy puppet boy and Yamada seemed that they could care less).

So as the ten of us headed to the practice room/gun range, everyone was introducing themselves to Nikita, who seemed to stop paying attention when Bon (grudgingly) introduced himself. When the two of us fell in the back of the group I decided to ask her the question that has been bugging me since she first came into the class. "So by "special case" I guess that you're also a half demon." I whispered once I made sure no one was paying attention to us. "Yeah, I also knew as soon as you bumped into me this morning that you were also a half demon. Mephisto told me about your situation…I have to say you have guts Rin to become an exorcist since you're not the average half demon and I think that's pretty awesome." She replied with her usual quirky smirk; making my face flush from the odd compliment. "So what kind of demon are you?" I asked curiously once I calmed my blush down. I only grew more curious when her hazel eyes harden. "I don't really want to talk about it right now Rin, but let's just say I'm more than one type of demon. I'm not that proud of my heritage as I used to be." She said vaguely before we finally reached the practice room. As Yukio set the ball machine to beginner, he explained that we would be taking turns when shooting and after every successful round he would set the difficulty on the machine a level higher until we couldn't keep up. He then handed each of us a handgun and when he gave one to poor Shiemi she looked like she was going to faint so he took it back; Izumo also gave back the gun saying that she shouldn't have to shoot since she didn't want to become a Dragoon. Seeing my reluctant expression when my brother handed me a gun, Nikita just patted my back and said it was okay. "Not everyone can handle a gun but it does come in handy to at least know how to use one, so don't worry if you can't hit most of the targets; just take a deep breath and relax and try to have a little fun with it." She said with the first actual smile I have seen from her. She continued to give me that encouraging smile when it was my turn to go up. Making sure I had the safety off, I took a deep breath and tried to coax my body to relax. "Are you ready Nii-san?" Yukio asked after my little breathing exercise; I just nodded my head as I brought the gun up and got ready to fire. Even though I knew there was going to be rubber balls flying at me, my body tensed when the first few flew out and when I fired the gun I missed all of them. "Damn it." I growled as I missed the next few. "C'mon Rin, you can do it! Just stay calm; don't let your frustration cloud your focus!" Nikita shouted over the loud sound of the machine. _Right, relax. You can do this. _I thought as I raised the gun again after loosening up a bit.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

That was all I could hear as I shot every other ball that came at me. Unfortunately when I went to reload I got smack in the head with one of the balls so my brother turned off the machine. "Well Nii-san, you did do better than last time but with the amount of balls you missed you didn't get passed level one." Yukio said apologetically. Honestly I didn't really care, I was just happy that I actually hit some this time. "Good job Rin, but next time you might want to change the way you position yourself when you aim and shoot. I noticed you were having difficulty shooting the balls coming on your left because of your stance, maybe you should move your right foot back instead of your left." The blonde half demon suggested when I joined her side.

"Yeah, I'll try that next time!"

My determined mood turned sour though when Bon went up to shoot. As soon as the machine started, he shot down almost every ball that came his way and reloaded his gun easily and by the time he couldn't catch up with the machine anymore, he was on level five! "Good job Suguro-san, you made it up two levels from last time." My brother commented. I was so tempted to punch the monk's face in when he gave me a look that said he was superior to me as he walked over to his friends. Instead I focused myself to watch as Nikita went up. I became confused though when she tossed the gun that Yukio gave her earlier but my eyes widen when she pulled out a black and silver gun and her own ammunition out of her jacket pocket before tossing the jacket to the ground. "Sorry sensei but I prefer my gun compared to those shitty guns most exorcists use. Now start it up." She said as she poised her gun for the upcoming onslaught. My jaw nearly hit the floor when she hit every one of the balls with ease, not even breaking a sweat as she reloaded. By the time she couldn't keep up, she made it to level nine out of ten and that was only due to the fact she ran out of ammunition! It was pretty much dead silent in the room as she scooped up her jacket and put it back on; stuffing her gun back into her pocket. Everyone just watched her as she walk out of the cage only to stop in front of Bon. "Who's an idiot who has no talent?" She asked smugly, making his face flush angrily before coming to stand next to me again. "What? I used to live by a gun range with my best friend and her older brother who's also happens to be a Dragoon." She said innocently, well as innocent that she could pull off since she still had a smug-ass smirk on her face.

Well…now I know at least one Meister she is definitely going for.

~BlueExorcist~

"_**So what kind of demon are you?" Rin asked her but when she went to answer him, he morphed into a familiar older girl with long black hair and brown eyes, tears of anger and sorrow running down her face. "What kind of demon are you? What demon goes out and kills her own kind? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?**_**"**_** The girl shrieked. "I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU DIED INSTEAD!" Suddenly the girl was replaced with a boy that looked just like her when the sound of a gun with off before his blood was splattered across the wall; a cold smile on the boy's lips.**_

Nikita woke up instantly, drenched in a cold sweat as she tried to calm her wildly beating heart. Once she was calm again she let out a tired sigh. _Should I even bother to look at the clock?_ She thought with a humorless chuckle. Deciding that she had nothing else to do, she turned her head and let out a swear. "2:13? Fuck that." She mumbled as she laid back down and after a few minutes of trying to get comfy on the cruddy pull out mattress, the blonde fell back to sleep once more only to relive her nightmares again and again.


End file.
